Like this:

I just put my beautiful Monkeyface to bed, and tonight I sit here, in my bed, completely in awe of her limitless, innocent love.

Today, her bus was 28 minutes early dropping her off from school.  TWENTY EIGHT MINUTES.  I am not entirely sure how that even happens, but it did.  I was at home, in the back of the house, and my cell phone rang.  It was the front office of my townhouse complex.  They told me that Miss Monkey was there.  I flew out the door to go get her, completely confused.  It’s only two buildings down, so she was already outside, walking toward me when I got out to the parking lot.

I asked her what happened and she said “I don’t know, I guess the bus driver found a shortcut.”  ….  ooh, my blood boiled.  I checked my watch, checked my phone, and then double-checked to be sure that I wasn’t seeing things.  Nope.  It was still 18 minutes until the bus was scheduled to arrive.

“Was it an early release day?!” I asked her.  No, it wasn’t.  ”Were any of the other parents at the bus stop?”  No, they weren’t.

OMG, there are two really little kindergarteners whose parents are always waiting with me.  “What about the littles?  Are they in the office?  Do their mommies know where to get them?”

“I walked them home, Mama.”

I stopped.

“You… walked them home?”

“Yes.  There wasn’t anyone at the bus stop.  The two sisters that ride..  they always walk home together anyway, so they were fine.  But the littles didn’t know what to do, so I held their hands and walked them to their houses.”

“How did you know where they lived?” I asked her.

“Well, I didn’t really.  I knew what building, but they knew their addresses, so I just knocked and made sure that it was their mama that answered the doors.”

“Then what did you do?”

“Well, I walked here, but the door was locked so I walked to the office and asked them to call you.”

…

Y’ALL.

…

I am SO VERY proud of her for being so responsible!  (Now, mind you – I called both the school and the transportation office and let them have an earful – the IRRESPONSIBILITY of dropping 5 children under the age of 8 off 28 minutes early with no parents present?!  Are you KIDDING me?!)   She is amazing.  She not only knew what to do to get herself home safely…  but she took these two babies by the hand and hand delivered them to their mothers, because they weren’t quite old enough to know what to do.   I am so, so VERY proud of her.

…

The other bit tonight that has me positively in tears is….  A girl that I went to high school with lost her 3-year old son tonight.  Saturday night, he fell into a pool and drown.  CPR brought him back, but he’s been in a coma since then.  The scans revealed severe brain damage and he’s been on life support.   Today they ran a final brain scan and there was no activity, so they had to let him go.   I’ve been praying for days over this little boy, and I continue to pray for peace for his mother and his 5-year old sister.  My heart breaks all over again as I think of Meatball’s new little playmate in Heaven.  There just aren’t any words in any language to describe the anguish of saying goodbye to your child for the final time.

Well, tonight we made dinner together, and as we were sitting at the dining room table eating, Monkeyface asked me why I was sad.  So, I explained to her that my friend’s child had passed away and how.  She said “Oh no.  That’s so awful.  His poor mommy, her heart will be sad like yours was.  But he’s with Jesus now, and he’s got a great life.  I hope she knows that.”

I told her that they were Christians, and that I’m sure she knew that, but it’s pretty hard to remember when it’s all first happening.

She said “Does she have other kids?”

I said “Yes, she has a 5-year old daughter.”

Monkey’s eyes got big and she said “That’s how old I was when Meatball went to heaven.   Can I write her a letter, mama?  And put it in the mail so that she will have something to know that she’s not the only one who feels the things she’s feeling, and it’s okay to be sad?  Maybe we could name a star after her little brother like we did for Meatball and send her the certificate!  Just like we have!  Then she can look up into the sky and see his star, just like we look for Meatball’s star!  Can we do that, Mama?”

….

Y’ALL.

…

Her selflessness and beautiful spirit just crumble me sometimes.  I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, parenting-wise, but I THANK GOD that her light shines so brilliantly and she teaches me.

She teaches me love.

She teaches me innocence.

She teaches me inspiration.

She teaches me perseverance.

She teaches me love.

The minute I looked into her chubby, squishy little face when she was born, she opened my heart and filled it fuller than it had ever been filled before.  And it’s moments like these that I know she’s not done filling me up with a love that surpasses anything else I’ve ever known.

Tonight, I will leave a light on for Heaven’s newest 3-year old angel, and I will say a prayer of peace for his family.

After that, I will say a prayer of gratitude, for God has blessed me more than I ever deserved.

Advertisement